Jun 30, 2006

Canadians are Cool

Mornings and Me - We SO Don't Get Along...oh, and Star Jones

O.K. I am NOT a morning person. I have tried. I really have. I am grumpy, crabby and TIRED when I get up. It doesn't matter how long I sleep, I still don't like getting out of my comfy bed. I woke up this morning (or shall I say WAS woken by Wilbur's incessant barking) feeling like my body was 87 years old. I am stiff, my back is killin' me and my fingers are so swollen that they look like battered catcher's gloves. I have a touch of arthritis and for some reason it has attacked my fingers again - so badly that I cannot bend my index fingers until approximately noon. The only thing I look forward to is hooking up my i.v. of Tim Horton's coffee to jump start my engine.

And now for something completely different:

Well, I had to laugh flipping through the channels last night. Star Jones was on Larry King Live - is this story news worthy to be on LKL? Anyone who knows of Star Jones knows what kind of gal she is. She's strong-willed! No-one is going to tell her what to do! Well on Larry King Live she spoke with such a soft tone and with a smile so tight that I worried her face would crack under the pressure. It seemed as though by speaking this way she could better explain to the American public (yes, you Jamie) that she had been wronged in a very BIG way and that SHE had absolutely nothing to do with it. ABC - watch out!

So, I'm on my 3rd day of summer vacation with the kids. They want to stay up late every night which basically gives me 1 hour of alone time. Nooooooooo! In order to re-charge this old battalax of a body (and mind) I need more time than that to myself. That's just the kinda girl I am. But they seem to think that getting up at 8:00 a.m. and going to bed at 10:30 p.m. is their natural born right. And these kids can go full throttle ALL DAY LONG and still not be as tired as I am at the end of the day.

I will - some day - figure out how to harness and bottle this energy and then sell it to make gazillions of dollars. (insert evil laugh *here*)

Jun 28, 2006

The First Day of Summer Vacation

So here it is. The first day of summer vacation. Wilbur woke me up at 6:50 a.m. - barking and howling as if he were going to explode from the utter excitement of it being Wednesday. I begrudgingly got out of my comfortable bed to let him outside and then fed him. I then quickly snuck back upstairs into said bed and put a pillow directly over my head. In no time he had found me out and began barking incessantly - now right beside me. Knowing that if I did not confine him he would do the same thing to my precious (sleeping) children I closed the door to my bedroom and bathroom so he could not escape. Within 5 minutes he had jumped on Juergen's side of the bed with wet paws, stole the toilet paper from the roll in the bathroom, starting chewing on the toothpaste tube and ruined my idea of falling back asleep on the first day of summer vacation. It's a good thing he's cute I tell ya. If he were an ugly dog I fear what I may do to him.

So the kids want to drag me to the vortex that is Wal-Mart. Ever notice that you can't spend just 2 minutes in that store? I have found myself in completely unnecessary departments - utterly dazed and confused as to why I am staring at fuzzy steering wheel covers. Every year to celebrate the end of the school year they get to pick something out. Something not too expensive. Perhaps another useless pool toy that will have a hole in it by 3:00 p.m. this afternoon. But it's the time that they take to pick something out. It is perhaps the biggest decision they will make this summer. They AGONIZE over this. What to choose, what to choose. And if they choose the wrong thing, oh the horror! Therefore Mom, give us the time we need to make this ever-important decision. This is where Wal-Mart should have chairs like the ones outside of dressing rooms. I would be so much happier if I could sit while the kids torture themselves as to what will make their lives complete for today - Wednesday, June 28, 2006.

Jun 27, 2006

It's That Time of Year

...the time where teachers sing and parents cry.

It was quite a sad day at the kids' school because a lot of teachers are leaving. Ellie's Grade 2 teacher is retiring after teaching at LSPS since 1975. She actually taught me! She's a lovely lady and we wish her the best. Jack's teacher is also leaving to pursue a different career within the school board. Jack was lucky enough to have her for 2 years in a row and she will also be sorely missed.

Bear with me people, I am trying to change my blog masthead and it's still a work in progress. Bloody hell, the time I waste on this here computer...

Jun 26, 2006

All Over But the Cryin'

It's over. The yard sale was a big success and I ended up having it Saturday as well. Got rid of a TON of stuff. Feels good. Even after stating that early birds would be as welcome as a zit on prom day, I had one man walk up my driveway shortly after 6:00 a.m. I just looked at him and said "No way, you've got to come back later, I am so not ready." (plus, I like everyone to get a fair chance) Well he looked at me like I had just killed his mother and then sent him away from the funeral. Totally crushed! I tell him to give me another half hour, he half-heartedly obliges and then comes back a mere 10 minutes later. Why am I going on about this man? After he comes back he spends close to one hour perusing, inspecting and asking what he thinks are pertinent questions about this, that and the other thing I have for sale. After all of this - doesn't buy one single lovin' thing. You just gotta laugh.

It is now 8:00 a.m. on Monday morning and I am letting the kids sleep in. Why the School Board bothers having the kids got to school today and tomorrow I don't know. We all know they're not keeping attendance anymore so what the heck? The kids were exhausted and quite frankly, so am I. I would've slept in too had Wilbur not woken me up. :(

By the way, I took Wilbur's cone off his head on Friday, three days earlier than I was supposed to. I don't know who was happier, me or him. He's loving life and went for his first swim in the pool on Saturday. He gets out of the pool, walks over 20 feet to where I am sitting and proceeds to shake himself off at my feet. Thanks Wilbur.

Weather wise we had an absolute perfect weekend. It was just gorgeous! We had to go to a pig roast and our nephew's new home so that was fun (until the sun went down and the gargantuous mosquitos came out) I have never been to a pig roast before. At one point I glanced over and saw them starting to carve. I almost fell over in my fold-up chair. THAT is a nasty sight. Mental note - don't sit near the pig at the next pig roast. Some things should be eaten and not seen. I got a kick out of my other nephew's girlfriend - she's a "semi-vegetarian". "What's that?" I ask. The answer? She doesn't eat anything with cute faces.

Jun 22, 2006

I Swear...

If Wilbur hits my leg ONE MORE TIME with that damn cone I am going to go insane.

Jun 20, 2006

Got Plants?

Greenhouses are to me, like casinos are to a gambling junkie. I can't resist going in. Just ONE MORE plant! Just one more perennial to make me smile next Spring when I have forgotten what exactly I planted. I transplanted a peony plant two years ago and since then I STILL think it is going to produce pink flowers. It doesn't. They're white with pink trim.

I love this time of year. I painstakingly water my hanging baskets and pots, eager to see them grow everyday. Something snaps in me though in late September. I don't water them with the same joy and awe - it's more of a "Damn! I have to go WATER THE PLANTS AGAIN!" A chore. Another thing I have to get done in a day. "Ahhh...just hurry up and die - winter's coming anyway..."

So for now I will enjoy the love affair in it's fresh, new stage. I will eagerly get out there in the morning, happy to see every new leaf and bloom - soaking it all in. At night I will water and tend and just enjoy the sights and smells. I will Miracle Grow these babies until they look like they're on steroids, and then realize again that you CAN Miracle Grow too much. (last year I fed them M.G. every day. I didn't know!) I will diligently protect my beds from pesky weeds, trying not to succumb to the lure of bark. (not that there's anything wrong with that) I will trim, pluck and mist until that fateful day in late September when the love affair is somehow inexplicably over.

Jun 19, 2006

Free - At Last?

Wilbur is less than thrilled. The cast came off (yay!) but the collar went on. (opposite of yay) You know, the lamp shade thingy. He has some sores on his leg from where the cast was, and isn't supposed to touch them. He has to wear it for ONE WEEK. That's like one solid MONTH in dog years. Never mind dog years, it's FOREVER for me! He's already bumping into every possible table, chair and door. He looks at me with these eyes that seem to say "WWWHHYYYYY Mom? WHY would you do this to me?" As soon as we got home I bathed him. The smell coming from him was so disgusting that Ellie suggested that we buy oxygen masks on the way home. (I'm not kidding, she did)

So I'm gonna do it. I'm going to have a yard sale. But not on Saturday. On Friday. Aren't I clever? I'll get all the die-hard yard-salers and be able to GO yard saling the next morning. My ad will read "Treasures from the attic, antiques, collectibles and some good junk. One day only. Early birds will be shot on site." Catchy, huh?


The waterfall is finished and we are thrilled with it. It makes you think you have to pee alot more than you actually do, but whatever. ;)

I just took Wilbur in to get his cast off, however, they have to x-ray his leg again to make sure it's healed properly. (cha-ching, cha-ching) I could hear the little monkey all the way out in the parking lot barking his fool head off. Keep your fingers crosses that his leg is all healed up!

Jun 18, 2006

Happy Father's Day, Dad!

It is an absolutely GORGEOUS day morning here and as we sat in the sunroom letting Juergen open his Father's Day presents my Dad was spending the morning doing what he loves - flying. What a blessing! He's 74 years old and still having a ball. He flew over the house twice (lower than you see in the pictures) as our arms flailed and we all yelled "Happy Father's Day!", then off he went for his annual Fly-In Breakfast. I love the fact that he can still enjoy his favourite past-time and that this is such a beautiful day for him. Thank-you Lord!

Jun 16, 2006

Housework Sucks!

There. I've said it.

I don't know if it's because the weather has been so nice but I am beginning to wonder whether I am just plain lazy or 'domestically challenged'. Housework is the bain of my existence. Do you ever have those days where you stare at an unmade bed and think - "Ahh, who cares, I'll just be getting back into it in another 14 hours or so." Or, "Why bother cleaning the floor when the dog is just going to come in with his muddy paws and dirty it anyway?" I was patting myself on the back two days ago for getting all of the laundry done - now I am right back where I started, laundry hamper full of clothes that the kids insist are dirty because they are too lazy to fold them and put them back in the drawer. They wear pj's for ONE night and then throw them in the hamper. I ask you, how dirty can your pj's get from sleeping in a bed on "fresh sheet" night? I digress...

I know there are very organized women out there who do their cleaning on a specific day of the week. Whoever you are, I salute you. The Gemini in me will not let me focus on one task for too long. So where I might start cleaning the bathroom, approx 2.5 minutes later you will find me upstairs, wandering through the hallway thinking "Why did I come up here?..." I like to refer to it as "Short Attention Span Theatre".

Even when I clean the house, I know it's not as clean as it COULD be. You see, I am one of those people who occasionally like to do a 10-second tidy. Now, in a 10-second tidy you hide/stuff things away in drawers, cubbies, closets. So it looks clean on the outside to the unsuspecting and unaware visitor. However, only you know that if that closet gets opened, things will come FLYING out of it at break-neck speed. It's cheating. The job is done, but not really. And it will haunt you everytime you walk by.

There is so much junk around this house that I really need to do another clean sweep. I'd love to have a gigantic yard sale, but if I have a yard sale on Saturday that means I can't GO to yard sales on Saturday. And should I really be yard saling if I have just stated that I already have too much junk?

Oh, the conundrum.

Water, Water Everywhere!

Jun 15, 2006

Wilbur Graduates...With Honours

Well, not with honours, but that sounds SO much better, doesn't it?

After being presented with his certificate I made the mistake of letting him see it close-up and his wet, yucky mouth made the ink run. Classic Wilbur.

We have high hopes for him and he will continue on with his higher education starting June 27th.

Jun 14, 2006

Waterfall Progress!

First, you dig a hole...

Wow, these guys work fast! They'll be finished tomorrow. Now THAT'S what I call instant gratification!

To Run - Or Not To Run

Two friends of mine are presently taking a running course. Why, I don't know. I am not exactly sure what there is to learn in a running class. I figure, you run. The next day you run a little more. The next day you quit. What's to learn about that? Running and jogging equals self-inflicted pain to me. The only time you will see me running is when I see a chandelier in a box at a yard sale. Move out of my way!

We drove by a store called The Running Room last Saturday. First of all, do you have to be a runner to go inside? Can they tell if you're not? Do people jog in place, fingers strategically placed on their pulse points while checking out the merchandise? These are things I wonder about.

It's a beautiful day here today and the Pond Man has arrived. But just to be clear, we are not getting a pond, it's a waterfall. All of the beauty - none of the work! Pics to follow...

Jun 13, 2006

The Truth - And Nothing But the Truth!

It always makes me laugh when magazines quote someone, without knowing whether it is the truth or not, make it sound like it is by adding a convenient:

"is said to have..."
"rumour has it..."
"is purported..."

Just a bevy of adjectives there are to stretch the truth! Standing in line at the grocery store tonight I glanced over at Star magazine and all of the out-and-out lies on the front cover and wondered if the editor of that magazine can actually sleep at night. The front cover screamed "Angelina Cheats On Brad!" Now I am not a big fan of hers but give the girl a break - she just had a baby! When on earth would she have time to cheat? But alas, phrases like "a close friend reveals" or "sources say" can cover that if need be. In order to work for a magazine like that there must be a clause in your contract that says "must be willing to sell your soul for good dirt."

The Pond Man cometh not. Because of all the wet weather we have been having he is delayed and therefore, so are we. No big deal, we're not going anywhere. The stone masons are almost done bricking the retaining wall which is exciting.

Major writer's block for the past few days. Nothing really new to report. I think I'll email my friend Janet and ask her what I should blog about tomorrow. She'll think of something.

Jun 12, 2006

Swing Swing

Wilbur has decided that the swing is now officially his favourite new thing. After doing his business in the morning he likes to hop up there and relax. I can't bear myself to put on his "lampshade" from the vet which prevents him from chewing on his cast. However, having said that, at the rate he's going he should have it off by this Friday.

I decided to take him back to puppy class as he is getting around quite nicely. He was so excited to see his fellow class mate Milo who is about the size of his left paw. How adorable it is to see two puppies behave like best friends who haven't seen each other in months. (except these friends like to sniff each other's butts!)

Jun 11, 2006

The Pond Man Cometh

In a continued effort to beautify what has become known as our Sanford and Son backyard, we have hired the "Pond Man" to install, or shall I say, create a pondless waterfall adjacent to our pool. It's a waterfall, but with no pond. Therefore, no pond worries. The man is known for his ponds, but does these waterfalls for people who can't stand the work of having a pond. That would be us. Even though I have seen pictures of this man's work I still find it hard to comprehend how he will create this waterfall out of nowhere. Of course I will document this event though pictures so we can find out together.

Jun 7, 2006

The Food Network

I continue to watch the Food Network as though I may learn something through osmosis. Don't great me wrong, I love to cook but I truly enjoy watching someone else do the cooking. And why not? My kitchen doesn't get dirty and there are no dishes to be done. The only nagging problem is I am left hungry after watching.

If I could, I think I would kidnap Kylie Kwong and keep her here forever. That girl can make some serious Chinese and Thai food. If Smell-O-Vision is ever invented, that is the first show I will watch.

Giada DeLaurentis of 'Every Italian' is just the cutest, perkiest thing out there. Ellie and I love (and laugh) when after every sentence, she looks directly into the camera and flashes her trademark smile. You know, the "I'm pretty, I'm famous, I have a gorgeous kitchen, my own t.v. show, and I'm RICCCHHHH!" smile. She can't help it - she is! She's a doll and we love her.

And then there's Nigella Lawson of 'Nigella Bites'. Forget about the food, this woman's voice has the ability to calm me like nothing else. I don't care what she's making - she's from England so sometimes it's something disgusting like haggis - but I don't care! She does it with grace and an earthiness that lures you in. Afterwards you don't know exactly what you've learned, only that you feel much more relaxed from having done so.

Jamie Oliver is an insane man who takes the art of loving food to a whole 'nother level. Food is this man's life and he isn't afraid to say it, darling lisp and all. His enthusiasm is wondrous and I wish I could bottle it and sell it.

Oh, I cannot forget Ina Garten of Barefoot Contessa! I feel this woman and I could be fast friends. Her take on comfort food is brilliant. HUGE coconut cupcakes - I mean, come on!! I have all of her recipe books and utilize them continually. Her cooking show demystifies rack of lamb, prime rib roasts and she cooks a mean roasted chicken. I feel like I'm pulling a stool up to her counter while she cooks. And she loves the word 'fabulous'. What more could you ask for?

After an afternoon full of watching these favourite shows, I will invariably indulge in a rather large bowl of cereal instead of creating the masterpieces I see on t.v. Who keeps fresh lemon grass in their fridge, anyway?

Jun 5, 2006

Blatherings About Nothing

Volleyball update from last week...it had rained the entire day but being the troopers we are, we decided to play anyway. The sand courts had turned into rather large puddles of mud (and I mean large!) The upside was, the mud was warm. The downside? The ball was so heavy and water logged that it might has well of been a bowling ball we were vollying back and forth. Pain ensued. And we lost all 4 games. More pain ensued. Nuff said?

It rained Saturday, but you will be happy to know Paul that I didn't let that stop me from hitting the yard sales! I hit the jackpot with the first sale I stopped at. Well, more of a jackpot for my mother-in-law. I picked up a few beautful antiques for her there. A couple of things I will stash away for her b-day but I found two picture brass picture easels that I KNEW she would love, so I had to give them to her. Now, for those of you who don't know her, my mom-in-law has a thick German accent and she sometimes gets words mixed up. She is also a die-hard yard saler but hadn't gone out that morning due to the rain. When she saw the two easels she exclained "Oh, vvvvowww! Bootiful! I OWN you!" Translation - I owe you. They were a fabulous deal. Identical brass picture easels sell for $60.00 each at a store here in town. I got 2 for $10.00. HOW CAN YOU BEAT THAT?! I also got a water cooler stand (the kind that refrigerates the bottle) for $12.00! And I picked up a box of Krispy Kreme donuts which I wolfed down in about 2 minutes. A very productive Saturday morning, despite the rain. :0)

Jun 2, 2006

The Magic of Butterflies

For many years now I have this thing where when I see a butterfly I think it is my Grandmother coming to greet me. She died 13 years ago in March and for 13 years every time I see a butterfly I smile. Since losing my brother Vic 1 ½ years ago I have extended the butterfly theory to include him. Last year while sitting in the backyard two butterflies came up to me, danced and twirled in the summer breeze – seemingly putting on a show just for me. The one butterfly stayed on after the first one left and hovered near me for quite some time.

I was so anxious to see my first butterfly this Spring. Well, I saw it last week. I was standing in the driveway talking to the guys doing the masonry work and it flitted near my head for a good 2 minutes. I just stood there, not moving, smiling at the sight.

There are many butterflies around the house this year…I think the most I’ve ever seen to date. Today while I was taking Wilbur outside, again a pretty Monarch put on a great show for me – making me smile by staying so close and simulating a plane coming in for a landing over and over again. Vic loved to fly. The kids yelled in unison “There’s Uncle Vic!”

It’s funny how something can make you hopeful and sad at the same time.

My dear sister-in-law Sharon gave me a wonderful flip-book called “Angel By Your Side – Thoughts for Each Day”. I read it when I came inside and today’s message reads:

“Angels fly, wings or not. It’s heaven’s power that lifts them.”

Jun 1, 2006


Yay! They're here to open the pool...

Ewwwwww! Not so good!

Every year I hope with childlike enthusiasm that the boys will open the pool and the water will be sparkling, crystal clear. This is rather gross. And the stench, down-right nasty. Even still, the kids will be thrilled and now I have to teach Wilbur how to swim. Well, I'm sure he knows how to swim but more importantly, how to get out if he falls in. Because of his cast, Wilbur is unfortunately now a Puppy School drop-out. How sad - he was doing so well!

A few things I have learned this week:

1) Never buy nail polish remover at the Dollar Store
2) Never try to water your hanging plant on a chair with heels on
3) Never pause when answering your kids - they think the pause automatically means a "Yeah, go ahead."
4) Never eat a chocolate bar and a Diet Coke right before bed

It's raining here today so volleyball may be cancelled - I hope not. My competitive spirit is in full force and I seriously worry I may become rather obsessed with winning. Well, I KNOW I will. My bestest (yes, 'bestest' Jamie) friends Janet and Heather have joined the team which my brother has now officially named "Whatever". Shoot for the stars Mikey. :)

If I were "Bewitched" I would wiggle my nose now and my housework would be done. I can wiggle my nose, but sadly nothing happens.