Dec 15, 2006

All I Want for Christmas is my Sanity

I just realized that the kids only have one more week of school until Christmas vaction. Where did this month go?

I am feeling much better now and have gotten into full Christmas mode shopping. My shopping method is - get in early - get out early - before the crowds come. I have only two more people to buy for and then I can lay on my couch and eat bon-bons.

The other night I was so tired and I did not want to wake the giant (ladies?) when I crawled into bed so I tip toed ever so quietly from the bathroom to our bed. I swear within those three small feet I hit every creak and our new wood flooring seemed like it came out of an old haunted house. Then I slowly, painstakingly pulled my side of the covers back and laid as close to the edge of the bed as I possibly could. I did not move, fearing hubby would wake up and that would be that. I was tired and I wanted SLEEP! For those first few minutes I didn't move an inch. Then when I realized hubby's snoring was pretty intense I felt more comfortable to ease my self properly into the nest. Yes! I did it! Sleep was all mine! Oh wait. What's thatI hear? Oh, it's Jack running to the bathroom - but why?

"Bleccccccchhhhhhhhhh..."

Oh. Now I know why. He just threw up all over the bathroom floor, just inches away from the projected target - shame. So, karma gives way as an inordinate amount of throw-up had to be cleaned up. Hubby never awoke during this whole scenario. Unbelievable.

Speaking of hubby...he had some good luck with him yesterday. He got pulled over speeding through a construction zone near our home. Now, there are plenty of signs all around stating that the speed limit is 40 km/hour and if you speed and get caught the fines will be doubled. Apparently he didn't think those signs actually applied to him so he sped through there at 70 kms/hour. Cue the siren. When the officer pulled him over and asked for his license, registration and insurance he realized he had NONE OF THAT in the truck with him. After a half hour the officer gave him three beautiful tickets all wrapped in a shiny, new bow. The best part of the present? NO speeding fine and if he brings in all of the info within 48 hours they will waive the tickets. Lucky indeed.

Wilbur escaped from the back yard yesterday and when I finally found him, smiling from ear to ear, he was covered in burrs. And I mean covered. And he stunk like swamp. Not a good combination. Strap a t.v. on that dog and I swear they'd give him his own show. "Come, explore THE WORLD with me!"

Off I go - gotta hit the ground running - 10 more days til Christmas!

3 comments:

Chunks said...

Haha I had to laugh at the whole sneaking into bed scenario. How many homes does that scenario play out in every night?! Men, it's like they have radar of some sort. Like he knew your son would be puking, so he didn't wake up. I bet he would have if silence would have followed you to bed! God love em!

I just realized today that I still have a couple of gifts to buy that I had kind of put to the side. Oh well, that is what Monday is for.

one`blue egg said...

ahhahahaha hey JOY I do lots of that sneaking into bed myself I know exactly what you mean! hahahahah it's me amy---yep the sickness has been running through our house too:( Merry Christmas!

diana said...

every american housewife has been there...great hilarious post !